The Great White North

While we were in Cleveland, we made a trip up to Canada for the weekend. We stopped in Toronto for a night and headed back on Saturday. We didn't take many pictures because we were too busy being disappointed by everything. Seriously. The hotel we stayed at in downtown Toronto was a "4-star", but had duct-tape holding up appliances and had random holes cut in the walls. We did not eat one good meal. And it was frigid. Eye-watering frigid. A lot of bad combinations that equaled me not wanting to ever go back to East-Coast Canada.

So, here we are mustering what we could out of the Great White North:

The skyline leaving Buffalo, NY and entering Canada. Niagra Falls is on the left and you can see the vapor from the falls if you look closely.

On our drive up we stopped at Tim Hortons, which is famous up there. You can't tell but Jake's smile is actually him gagging on the playdough-tasting doughnut. Seriously gross.

Driving into Toronto!

The fourth and last picture of the trip was of something maple. It was mediocre but I felt I had to capture my attempt at Canadian food.

Tips to survive Toronto:

1. Avoid Tim Hortons unless you like food that tastes like play-dough.

2. Do not eat at the first restaurant you find outside your hotel, even if it is moderately priced and has people inside. 

3. Just because there are a lot of Chinese people in the area does not mean the Chinese food is good or edible. 

4. Be prepared to be ripped off. The hotel we stayed at charges $27 parking for hotel guests. So if you book a good deal on priceline, it turns out to be way less of a good deal when you factor in ridiculous parking.

5. Don't drive downtown while being tired and hungry. You may end up feeling grumpy.

6. Drive very slow any time your exit may be coming up on the highway. The exit marks are sometimes on the left, sometimes on the right, and sometimes non-existent. 

7. Don't expect any technology past 1982. If a 4-star hotel has a TV that is older than me, I can't imagine what a 2-star hotel has. 

8. Prepare to be extremely disappointed. Maybe if you go, you will end up loving the city. I hope that happens to you. But just in case, set your expectations low. Like, Detroit low. 

Thanksgiving Chorus

Part of the fun of getting married is getting a whole new family with quirks to know and love. My new family, the Jones', largely live in Cleveland, OH. So... off we went to Ohio for Thanksgiving for another year of festivities.

A huge surprise I had last year was the fact that Jake's family sings a family prayer over dinner instead of speaking it. I was also surprised that they like to sing hymns after dinner including the Hallelujah Chorus. Not many families can pull of a four-part harmony acapella hymn, but the Jones' are a rare breed. This year, I came expecting the treat and will now share it for your enjoyment:

I love that Jake set the video up to capture the family in secret. I also love that the video captures his uncle tripping right in front of the camera. I also may or may not have had an extremely difficult time keeping a straight face during the singing. I have a long way to go to catch up to some of the more seasoned singers.

And I hope that you made it to the end of the video. If not, go back and watch the very last part, because it is the best. "1, 2.."

Passive-Aggressive Smiley Faces

I have a complaint against smiley faces. Not the ones that my mom puts in my birthday cards or the huge ones at Wal-Mart. No, these are the ones that are masters of disguise. They masquerade as a pleasant end to a sentence, but really they are caustic, mixing symbols of kindness and intentions of meanness together in a great passive-aggressive cluster of annoyance.

Here are some of my recent real-life examples:

Me: Assignment X is unclear in the syllabus because of .... Could you explain it a bit more to me?
Professor #1: Please refer to your syllabus. :)
Meaning: I did not take the time to fully read your question, so I don't understand that you already went through the syllabus and still have a question. I will pretend to answer your question without giving you an answer,  put a nice little smiley face on the end of my statement to add an air of lightheartedness, showing that I am a kind, nice person, and in the end, make you have to re-ask the question because I did not answer it the first time. :)

Me: The class I was hoping to enroll in for the next term has been cancelled. Do you have any recommendations for taking this course?
Professor #2: Please enroll in GIS.
Me: I am unfamiliar with GIS. Could you provide me more information, please?
Professor #2: Please enroll in GIS: Graduate Independent Study. :)
Meaning: I am incredibly busy and do not have time to fully explain the acronyms we use at this school. It is unfortunate that you do not understand, but I will go ahead and make you feel out of the loop while I stoop to explain the simplistic acronyms you should already know. But of course, I'm happy to help. :)

Other examples could include the following:

- Looks like you get to work every major holiday this next year. :)
- Next time, remember to not use peanuts. I'm still allergic. :)
- I'm actually not your biological mother. :)
- You look just like Cher. :)

I did just find out it's reason #59 to be socially responsible in punching someone in the face, so I feel justified.

And here's the perfect comic from toothpastefordinner.com: